Yesterday my senior called and wanted to know where I was. I had not told her that I would see her, (although I had planned to) that was simply the way she started the conversation. I think she does not like it when I go to Atlantic City because it is too far away. I can't be "summoned" to come to her house. (LOL) She said that she had a question to ask me. I told her that I would see in 1/2 hour. She called me back immediately with the real issue. She had no milk and wanted me to bring some, but had no money because she had not been to the bank. Actually, she has not been to the bank in many years. She forgets. I get to her house with milk in hand and soon after her son called. I answered the telephone and he started asking questions about her finances and her frivolous ways. He never asked "How is my mom doing, how is she feeling today." But I told him anyway. It did not seem to matter that she is still fairly healthy, spry, has her wits and is amusing. That she still makes her own bed, makes her own meals, etc. Instead he focused only on the negative. At one point her son said "See, this is where I blame the government, they should put her in a home." As he started to say more, I interrupted and because I was so angry, I had to speak carefully and slowly when I said "Let me get your mother for you." I could not say another word to him. My heart was pounding and my head started to hurt immediately. As an agent of my volunteer organization I would have put them at jeopardy if I had said what was really on my mind. I do know that there is a lot of bad blood in this family--maybe this is about reaping what you sow. Still my heart breaks. My senior had no toilet paper and no cereal for her milk. I went back to the store. Today, I think I will do a little shopping. As I type this I remember that I have to take a battery for the kitchen clock.
Our elders should be cherished, not wished away.
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