Loneliness in America?

Last week while talking my good friend who lives out of state, we discussed lonliness and feeling alone. It came up again last night while a friend I were out.  I personally believe that this is true to some extent.

I believe that it was the July, 2006 article that opened this can of worms. The topic came up again this or last month on a news show. The NYT article stated,

"There is a new installment in the annals of loneliness. Americans are not only lacking in bowling partners, now they're lacking in people to tell their deepest, darkest secrets. They've hunkered down even more, their inner circle often contracting until it includes only family, only a spouse or, at worst, no one.

And that is something the Internet may help ease, but is unlikely to cure.

A recent study by sociologists at Duke and the University of Arizona found that, on average, most adults only have two people they can talk to about the most important subjects in their lives — serious health problems, for example, or issues like who will care for their children should they die. And about one-quarter have no close confidants at all."

I started writing an article on the subject of loneliness for Work and Family last year but never finished it, I will finish it for a later issue this year. My personal take on this is that you need solid and absolute support from at least one person to keep you from being lonely and put a smile on your face. I have been very lucky to have had that. My dad was my champion and through the years I have had friends who toasted my smallest achievements. I have always reciprocated--you have to do that. I once had a friend who was so excited that she was stuttering when she told me of her new position, I was excited too, even though she would be making 3 times my salary. I found a greeting card that showed a woman sitting prettily and grinning on the top of a very small ladder. I typed my own greeting and pasted it over the real one that said "Congratualtions." Mine said "There you've done it, now rub your money in their low-level faces. (oh--not me of course)." She told me everytime she looked at that card she laughed out loud and loved me more, cuz some people never said anything to her about her promotion. We have been friends for over 40 years.  

I think if you have two or three wonderful friends who are always there to give you a "that's great" or "I am proud of you" lift, loneliness won't exist for you.  Like the women on "Sex and the City or "Girlfriends"--when things go bad all they want are 'their girls' and once they are arrive, life is pretty good again.

So Mr. Bloggie you want to know if I am lonely. Yeh. Sometimes.